The Pain of Untimely Goodbyes

Goodbyes are difficult. Painful, uneasy and discomforting too. Even more so when they are untimely and when you aren’t prepared for one. It is one of the experiences that all humans should and should not experience — it reduces, strips and tears us down to the rawest of emotions possible.

This year we have been witnesses to far too many instances where a lot of us have had to bid farewells — wars, natural disasters, political disasters, hate, love, hate over love (but not vice versa) and so on. One of the most tragic ones is the current situation in Aleppo. The rebels in Syria’s second largest city are on the verge of facing nothing short of a genocide.

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Pictures and videos all over the web seem to have just one constant — blood. When did we come to a point where reducing us to flesh, bones and blood is a mark of victory? Head count a badge of honour? Massacre as a means to an end?

And in what human world have allowed for this to happen? Did we not write enough, Retweet enough, Share enough, scream enough? Did we? I want to, now. Scream. Here, there, everywhere. Even if it feels like screaming into a black hole, an abyss. But does that count? I don’t know. Do you? Have we failed them? Yes. Have we failed ourselves? Absolutely.

What I know is I cannot bear another picture of a grieving family member — holding on to their loved ones, as if holding a little longer will change things, just a little bit. I cannot bear another video where someone says the end is near and they don’t know what comes next. I cannot read reports of people bidding goodbyes to the world — to you, to me, to all of us — prematurely.

I want the goodbye to be like ones I bid as a kid — they held hope. Hope for another meeting, sometime soon, just about anytime. Ones which didn’t mean the end. They held promise for me, as much as it did to the other person. They held a possibility of being human. Isn’t that what it is supposed to mean anyway?

I don’t know if these words mean anything to anyone at all. I am pained beyond that point now. I am one of the most optimistic people I know — and the only thing I am hopeful of right now is that for this to not be a final goodbye, not now, not yet. All I can do is hold on to a few words, to goodbyes.

Until next time.

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(P.S. You can to donate to these charities working on relief operations in Aleppo:

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